Now what?

My anger has lessened some. Now I am anxious. Usually that feeling brings an outbreak of hives...not this time. I am incredibly nauseous. I would rather have hives than this nauseous feeling. We are moving forward though.

This morning Josh had to be at school early for honor band practice. I decided I would try to talk to someone...anyone about having Josh moved to a different class--preferable an advanced class. Josh was actually very thrilled about this! That itself says A LOT! When they opened the doors of the school, Josh got out and went in. I took my time getting Hannah out of the car and we headed in. On our slow walk into the building I looked down and saw a $100 bill. I looked around and decided I should pick it up. I was shocked that none of the kids who had just walked by saw it. I turned it into the office. The lady was pretty shocked too. Then I asked who I needed to speak to about having Josh switched to another class. She at first looked at me like it wasn't possible. She of course asked my reasons, and when she found them to be satisfactory (or maybe I satisfied her curiosity) she called the 6th grade principal. In the few minutes I had to wait to be called back he had printed out Josh's school records. I can't describe how nervous I was. The only time I have ever been in a principals office was when I was in 2nd grade. A friend and I decided we thought it would be fun to hide while at recess instead of going in with the class. We did and played outside alone for a while. We of course got caught and sent to the principal. This morning I felt like I was in trouble and had to explain myself while sitting across from the principal.

For those that really know me well know that I am really an introvert. I am uncomfortable being put on the spot. I am uncomfortable being in a room full of people. I am uncomfortable when people look to me for an answer. Over the last few years I have stepped up and am not so much of an in the background kind of person, but some things are hard to overcome. Sometimes my knees still shake when I go on stage to sing with the choir on Sunday mornings. That is just me! I have worked to overcome this and step out a little more.

The uncomfortable feeling I had this morning was overwhelming. I stumbled over my words and had a hard time explaining why I wanted Josh moved. Then again, I was trying to be nice and not say the kids are stupid and disrespectful. I was trying to be nice and not say that Josh can't be confident with a teacher who can't spell. The principal seemed shocked that I would have an issue at all. I get the feeling that having Josh moved won't be very easy. He wants me to have a conference with all 3 of Josh's teachers. I have to work around their conference time, which is fine. I was worried about Hannah, but he looked at her and said, "she is either really good or really tired" so it is ok to have her there. She was being really good, but most of the time she is! I was hoping that I could go in and request a change and be done with it, but oh well. I will meet with the teachers tomorrow. I am terrified!
I don't want to say the wrong thing.
I don't want to offend anyone.
I don't want to say something that would end up hurting Josh.
I don't want them to take anything out on Josh.
I want my son to have the best education he possibly can.
I want him to learn and be challenged.
He wants to learn and be challenged.
He is smart and responsible.
He should not be held back when he can do so much more.

I am praying for a clear head. I am praying for the right words to say. I am praying for the teachers and principal to be receptive. I am praying for the best for Josh. I am praying I don't throw up on the teachers feet because of nerves.

I am stepping way out of my comfort zone to be an advocate for Josh. I am his mom...that is what I have to do!