I got nothing!

I feel like I need to blog something, but I got nothing! (I know that is not worded correctly, but sometimes it just gets the point across) This last week has been a tough one for me, and probably for Josh. He is now worried about any future conferences I have with his teachers. He told me being called into the conference was "the scariest thing in my life." I traumatized my poor kid! We are trudging forward though, I guess there is not much else I can do. I don't get do overs, so there is no point in trying to change the past.

I can't tell you how much I love Hannah home during the day. Her learning is taking off! In a few short weeks she knows almost all of her letters...well, the sounds they make. We are working on the names of all the letters. She finds 'letters' everywhere. Marc was using the oven last week, and Hannah was looking through the window. She got so excited because there was a "W" is the oven. I ran over there because we were missing our "W" magnet. The "W" she saw was a shape made by the heating element, and it really was in the shape of a "W".  She loves her dogs and babies, AND she loves to snuggle. She doesn't like it when we don't go for a run. She likes her playtime at childwatch...probably because they watch princess movies. I am so blessed!!! Even  when she looks at me and says, "I don't like you." I know it is not true, and she is only saying it because I am not giving into one of her demands. She also always comes back and says, "mommy, I love you." Then she gives me a hug. We have talked about those words and how words can make people sad, but she hasn't gotten it yet. Another set of words I hear frequently is, "Momma, momma, I want momma." Then she crawls into my lap. It just melts me. Hannah seems shy when we are out and about, but if you took her from my arms she would just hug you and snuggle into your body.

My ME time now is spent running. People have asked me in the past how I can just up and run...and run...and run. For me it is my stress reliever. Some people use chocolate. Other people shop...I run! I can't describe how it feels to have my feet pound my stresses into the pavement. It is such a release! I get cranky when I don't run for a while. I think part of the reason that last week was so hard on me was because I only ran 2 days. I remember 2 years ago after hurricane Ike. We were sitting around without power. We were hot and the kids were irritable. Marc looked at me and said, "go run. PLEASE go run." I did and I came back a happier person.

I am still praying for the school situation...among other things. I am also trying to be thankful daily. I have noticed that in the last 2 months that my quiet time has grown. It has grown in quality AND quantity. I looked at the clock one day last week and had to get my rear outside to wait for the bus. I didn't realize that I had spent an hour with God. During this time I don't answer my phone; I don't play Words with Friends; I don't respond to emails or texts. I actually put my phone on vibrate, so I am not distracted by the constant notifications. The few people that might have an emergency that requires immediate attention have my home phone number. There are only about 5 people that have that number! I LOVE my time alone with God. I do not like the struggles we are dealing with right now. If you remember back in February, I had a Conversation with God. I have trusted and He has been faithful. I have no doubt in my mind that if I put my trust in HIM, he will be faithful. I know I am loved. I know my struggles are important to God. I know HE has a plan. His plan may not be my plan. I am trusting him to work it all out for HIS glory. This is hard for me because I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen and when. I don't like this feeling of limbo...especially when it comes to my kids. I have found that it is easier to trust God's plan with my life than it is to trust him with my kids. It is hard to watch one of my kids struggle. It is hard to watch unhappiness. I want to swoop in and make it all better. I know that God has a plan. I am working on my trust issues and trusting HIM to work it all out. For me...a former control freak, this is hard. I would love it if you would pray for us. If you would like specifics, let me know and I will send them privately.

Thank you friends. Know that I pray for many of you daily. I love you guys!